. . . or my
lack of it during these past four months.

During those early newborn days, Graydon's days and nights were all confused, as is the case with many newborns. Within a week or two, we got them straightened out; though getting him back down after that 2am feeding continued to be a challenge for the next month. By two months of age, I thought we were making progress. Graydon went down for the night around 8pm and would sleep until 1:00/2:00am, then up again around 4:00/5:00am, and then up for the day around 6:30am. I was tired, but that was manageable. At three months, he started waking more frequently. . . sometimes 10:30 or 11:30pm. Sometimes both - in addition to the other times he was already getting up. He also became increasingly more difficult to get back to sleep {I had to nurse him every time - sometimes for a half hour}. I comforted myself with the thought that he's just going through a growth spurt or it's teething. But things haven't gotten better. Couple that with the fact that he's been fighting naps as well {I'd spend a half hour bouncing/shhhhing/rocking/etc. only to have him wake up as soon as I lay him down - continue this dance a few times until he finally stays down - and then only napping for about 20 min.} and you've got one exhausted Mommy who is very close to losing it.
You do what works while it's working. And when it stops working, you find something else that does. That's where we're at. If Graydon was my only child, I might be able to continue this for a while longer with the hope that things will work themselves out. But I've got Bella who also has needs - ones that require me to have some bit of energy during the day. I decided to do some research on sleep training and ordered
this book. It hasn't arrived yet, but I have put into play some of its techniques, as I understand them. I started with naps. I rock with Graydon, read him a book, sing him a song, and then lay him down drowsy. He cries. I let him cry for about 2 minutes and then go back and pat him tummy to remind him that I haven't abandoned him. After a few moments, I leave and come back after 5 min. Repeat. Then 7 min. Etc. I had no expectation of how Graydon would respond to this. Thankfully, the longest he's cried for has been 20 minutes (with me going in during the appropriate intervals). Sometimes, he's only cried for 3 minutes. We're only on Day 3 of this. As far as nights, I won't nurse him if it's before 2am. When he wakes up before that, those are the times that he tends to go the full 20 min. before falling back to sleep. I'm hoping that all of this is teaching him how to fall asleep on his own so that he doesn't depend on nursing back to sleep all of the time. Ideally, the goal is to get him to sleep through the night, but I'll take what I can get at this point.
And before I can go on, I want to add that Andy has been very helpful in all of this. I'm the one that gets up in the night since I see no reason for both of us to be exhausted. But when 6am rolls around and Graydon is ready to be up for the day, Andy will take him and let me sleep until 8:30am. I absolutely need that. One morning I came down to find not only two content kids, but the dishwasher unloaded and reloaded, diapers in the wash machine, and garbage ready to go out the door. I started crying. Apparently sleep deprivation makes me really emotional.
Other than Graydon's sleep issues, here is what we've been up to this week:
Homemade popsicles are quite a treat on those unseasonably hot spring days. We made two batches of pink lemonade ones.

My cute family!

Bella looking more and more beautiful.

Isn't this photo so sweet? Bella didn't like being worn, but Graydon loves it.

Such a precious boy. Looks a lot like Daddy here.

I took the kids to a farm/play area on Thursday. Bella had a great time!


Somebody turned four months old!!! He celebrated by rolling over from his back to his tummy. I've seen it twice - but only when he's not wearing a diaper.

Bathtime progression: hanging out on the bathroom floor while Mommy fills the tub.

Getting all cleaned up! Graydon cracks me up in the tub. He's always kicking his legs around; but with not much room on the sides for his arms to do much, they are just kind of there. Makes him look like he's doing a horizontal irish dance!

Drying off: with feet to play with, who needs toys!

My kiddos! Graydon was not quite in the picture-taking mood that Bella was in, but I think it's sweet that they are holding hands.

Sometimes my love for these kids just overwhelms me and it makes me cry. Maybe it's the emotion-induced sleep deprivation; but I think that sometimes God lets me in on how blessed I am. That happened this week. Nothing brings me joy faster than to see these two kids interact with each other. Bella can make Graydon laugh like no one else.

And he just adores her.

My cup overflows!